How To Raise A Resilient Child

No matter how painful it is for a parent to endure, children learn priceless lessons in moments of despair and difficulty.

To be honest, there is absolutely nothing we parents can do to avoid our children experiencing pain. And although we would love to do absolutely anything to protect them from ever feeling any sadness or harm, we can't live their lives for them.

What we can do however, is raise them to be resilient children who are equipped to handle failure and can transform failures into strength and confidence.

The fact is, children learn useful lessons in moments of challenge. In those moments, they learn that life is not always easy, fair or full of non-stop joy. They also learn that moments of frustration and discontent can be turned into a positive lesson which leads to increased inner strength. They also learn that hard times do not last forever - a lesson they can take with them forever.

So, how do we raise our kids to become resilient?

Simple. We let them make mistakes.

As parents, we must consciously avoid trying to eliminate all risk from their lives. And we need to stop succumbing to their every need.

Then, we need to teach them how to solve problems without giving them all the answers. We must support without coddling.

At the end of the day, although it is painful to watch our kids endure any kind of sadness, accommodating every last need and want is doing our kids a terrible disservice.


No matter how painful it is for a parent to endure, children learn priceless lessons in moments of despair and difficulty.


While we want to protect our children with every fibre of our being, a child who has experienced disappointment, and knows how to bounce back, will gain a sense of confidence that cannot be told or taught.

In fact, shielding our kids from disappointments also shields them from becoming resilient and veers them off the path of emotional maturity. Sure, children don't face the same, difficult situations as adults, but they still experience stress. They have tests, they face bullies and they get their feelings hurt by people they thought were friends - and all these situations feel like serious ordeals to a child.



So rather than immediately stepping in to save the day, you need to allow your child to work through the situation with guidance rather than help. This way, they can develop a better perspective on how to process and handle disappointment.

Consequently, they will then be able to process and handle uncomfortable emotions as they grow older and face even greater responsibilities and difficulties.

Imagine if your child never truly experienced a letdown because you were always there to protect them. It's a beautiful picture of a perfect childhood. But now consider them experiencing their first letdown on the job as a young adult. Chances are, they will feel incredibly embarrassed and unprepared for not knowing how to handle that particular letdown. Not great.

Resilient kids make for resilient adults. They also learn by observing so ensure you deal with your own setbacks in exactly the way you would want them to - they will mirror the same discomfort when faced with turmoil.

So, rather than shield your child, support them. This support will build confidence and strength, positioning them to solve problems and handle life’s inevitable pains.